baby, it's cold outside.

I get the winter blues.

for a long time, I didn't make the correlation between my mood and the weather. I chalked it up to hormones, having lady parts, little inconveniences, etc.

but it was affecting my lifestyle in a big way for a number of years - beginning in early November, and ending in late March. I would have to drop classes at my University because I was having anxiety attacks, my performance at work would falter, I would be more prone to habits like over/under eating, cutting off contact with friends and family, binge drinking, and other destructive activities.

I've realized over the past year or so that this is something that 1) is consistent from year to year, and 2) affects a LOT of other people besides me.

I've already begun to feel the effects in the past few months of this problem. I definitely haven't had motivation to plan for my goals and pursue them, and my diet/exercise was close to nonexistent for about 3 weeks around the holidays. and just today, I looked outside at the 4 degree Fahrenheit weather and the clouds, and thought... you know... it would be nice to go home and have some soup and read a book, instead of doing yoga.

BUT

the days where you have only half a will to do something... those are the days most crucial to your progress, where you will break the bonds of your habits.

so

I am going to yoga tonight. 5:30.

and I will do it with a smile on my face.

weekends.

are you a food and exercise weekender?

I used to be. I would work so hard on perfecting my diet and lifestyle on the monday through friday that when the weekend came along, I indulged and blew all of my hard work.

lately, I'm finding a balance.

it's both a balance between treating myself to small portions of food I typically don't eat, and not berating myself for doing it.

I think that's one of the bigger challenges I'm facing, with this lifestyle change. to not regard food as "bad" or "good," to not think that I'm "forbidding myself" to eat one thing or another. to not regard myself as "bad" or "good" when I do eat one thing or another. it's just food, right?

I guess that last line is something I need to repeat to myself.
it's something that I would guess a lot of people need to tell themselves.

yikes!

I've been neglecting.

time is just running, sprinting in the other direction.

my agenda is full, but I'm still planning (as always...)


tomorrow I'll invest in the yoga package, nab some groceries (did I write about the vegan Indian packets yet? YUM!), and hopefully I'll catch a weekend day off so I can work on upping my zzzzzzzzs.

the boyfriend and I went shopping the other day at a produce market, and picked up some jicama. I've been meaning to try it for awhile (the boyfriend... notsomuch).

diagnosis?
LOVE it!

(at least.... I love it. he makes fun of me and calls it YUCK-ama)

it has an almost fruitlike sweetness, but more the consistency of an apple or potato (hence the common name, "mexican potato"). we sliced some up for a salad the other night, and it was a great compliment to the tanginess of the balsamic vinaigrette that we tossed everything in.

unfortunately, foreign and exotic fruits are hard to come by in my area, especially in the winter. I've read many pages defending the "eat with the seasons" theory, and I think that might be something else to tackle in the coming weeks.

does anyone else on a budget find it hard to plan for buying food? my problem is that if I buy everything I'll need for the next 2 weeks, half of it will go bad because I can't eat it fast enough. and if I buy as much as I think I'll need for only 1 week (which is typically all I can afford at the time), I run out of food. and then I end up concocting some carb-heavy mess like last night.... whole-wheat pasta, onion, garlic, butter, and half&half (for creaminess, of course, was my argument).

maybe I just need more grab n' go fresh foods, and some other easy options to take with me to work, etc.

today for instance... I have enough fruit and some veggies to last me through work, but I didn't plan for the fact that I'll be studying afterward, and then attending my 6pm class. I would rather not go out and buy anything, but at this point, it's my only option unless I want to forgo food from 3-10pm.


my goal for next week?
plan my meals.

if you're not into yoga, and you have half a brain...

damn Jimmy Buffet.

I like yoga. I have a half a brain (two halves, actually).


my exercise regimen, unfortunately, is not beginning for another week or so. I've never been much for "weight-training," or "cardio," in the sense that if I view fitness as a task, or just something to be completed, I am not motivated.

enter: group fitness.

don't get me wrong, I understand the need to challenge my body, and push it, and increase my stamina and ability, and the benefits of both cardiovascular and muscular fitness...

but I'd rather not think about it while I'm doing it.

bikram yoga has been a style that I have yet to try. I'm familiar with ashtanga and vinyasa, both of which I very much like, and I'm intrigued by this branch of yoga.

beginning next... Friday? Saturday?

soon... I'll be posting my thoughts, aches, and pains about this experience.

wish me luck.

hungry!

wow
I woke up with an animal in my stomach today.

the first thing I thought about after the clouds cleared from my mind was

::where is my breakfast::


I work early in the morning during the week (7am), and I have a bad habit of rushing off with nothing in hand (take this morning... left my beautiful half of a canteloupe just sitting there in the fridge.... all lonely). sometimes I'm able to grab a banana or apple from the grocery across the street before I begin my day, but other than that I don't have much to sustain me.

I've been keeping a jar of almond butter in the work fridge, so that helps.

when I went to the grocery the other day, I picked up a packet of vegan Indian stew-ish stuff that was incredible. I'll talk more about ethnic foods and diet later, but I absolutely loved loved loved the vegetables and sauce (and only 140 cals for half of the packet!). I mixed in some stir-fried tofu for some substance, and I was a very happy girl at lunch for a couple days.

so I'm thinking that the next time I go shopping, I'll stock up on some of those boxes, and keep them at work. saving money + eating healthy is always a good thing!

now I'm getting hungry just thinking about food again... my choices aren't so hot today:

a.m. food
1 orange
1 banana

lunch
2 slices whole grain sprouted bread
2 tbsp. raw almond butter

snack
1 apple

dinner
salad (romaine, celery, tomato, cucumber, salsa)
2 baked red potatoes with onions (+ 1 tsp. butter)


pretty sparse.

protein.

I have a protein question.

yes, we all know that people don't need as much as they think, too much is bad for your body, and that animal (meat or dairy) protein contains far more fat and cholesterol than plant protein (which has little to none).

that's not my concern.

I want to be able to vary my non-dairy, non-meat protein sources, so I'm not bored with leafy greens, soy, nuts, and beans.

what else is out there?

because while I'm not so concerned about monitoring my carb intake (I eat plenty of fruits and vegetables for that), or my fat intake (most of the fat I consume is in the form of olive oil, avocado, or nuts), I do want to make sure my protein levels are up, especially when I start up yoga again.

I'm really not about supplements, especially the powered, manufactured kind that tend to sneak in casein (which is a form of animal protein).

can anyone offer me some advice?

nutrition according to Eve.

so my diet.*

it's a little bit of everything.

I sometimes follow food combining rules, or I have "all raw" days, I go with or without meat, dairy, fast food, for any given period of time, but I don't ever subscribe to just one "right way."

don't get me wrong... I went through counting calories. oh, I read every label within reach, and looked up nutritional content for everything else (truth be told, I still log my calories in every couple of days). I worked at a gym for a number of years, and they pounded the calorie in/calorie out theory into my brain every day.

the other concept that our personal trainers taught was eating clean. yes, they were ahead of the "no preservatives, no additives" game for awhile. it's really a no-brainer, and I completely agree with it. I'm pretty sure this and the organic movement are best friends.

at the beginning of the holidays, I promised myself that I would not beat myself up for eating too much. I didn't stress about desserts, or drinks, or anything along those lines, and although my self-loathing was absent.... my waistline grew. of course.

so what I've started doing is a combination of veganism, proper food combining, raw lifestyle, and indulging in foods that I like (but not too much).

I'm hoping that by limiting my general food consumption to fresh/frozen produce, minimal dairy and meat, and raw nuts, seeds, and sprouts, my body will rid itself of excess waste/weight.



*I will use the word "diet" throughout this blog to mean any or all of the following: food choices, nutrition, dietary lifestyle, food preferences, and other words belonging to Eve's Thesaurus not listed here. I will not use the word "diet" to exclusively mean a temporary change to one's lifestyle made specifically in order to "lose weight."

first.

there's so much that I want to say to introduce myself.

this is a catalogue, of sorts, about improving my mind and body.

I've been reading for ages about different diet plans, EDs, food "movements," lifestyles, theories, and although I've been subjected to the mind-bending of bulimia in my past, I am determined to stay away.

I want a better body, sure, who doesn't.

but I want to do it the right way.


it's not about weight.
let me say it again.

it's not about weight.

I have little to no access to a scale, so weighing myself is not an option (and plus... the scale doesn't measure fat).

I'm in the process of reinstating my yoga studio membership, so that will provide my fitness throughout this journey.

but how to measure progress?

hmm....